"The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard."
"If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I'll let you have the pen!"
"I think they should put the wrapper on the inside of the straw since that's the part you don't want to get dirty."
"Why is it, 'A penny for your thoughts,' but, 'you have to put your two cents in?' Somebody's making a penny."
--Steven Wright
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