Humility: All Streams Flow to the Ocean

This is my number one, most favorite quote of all time. And I think that's saying something, since I have over 200 pages of favorite quotes in 12pt font.  I love it because it articulates a little known - or at least - little utilized truth.

Of all the virtues, I think humility has been the most difficult for me to cultivate in my life. First of all, it's a difficult concept to wrap your head around. In the dictionary, Humble is defined as "The quality or condition of being modest in opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc." But I have a bit of a problem with that definition. I think the words "importance" and "rank" add to a general misconception of humility as "less than or lowly in comparison to others," which has a competitive connotation. But humility is anything BUT competitive. Competition is a function of the ego, and ego is the antithesis of humility.  

I have found it most useful to think of humility as an abiding inner peace. Regardless of what others may think, you are content. Even if you are stressed, vexed, afflicted, or provoked your heart remains harmonious no matter what the circumstance. You don't compare yourself to others or judge them in any way and most often forget yourself in the service of those around you simply because your "self" doesn't even occur to you in the presence of so many others.

Who ISN'T attracted to that in someone...like a stream to the ocean? 

Most of the finest leaders in history have been masters of humility. But of course they never knew it because not-knowing, not-judging, not-measuring are the hallmarks of a humble character.  If you know you're humble, you're not.

I often wonder if such a virtue can even be cultivated. It sort of seems like something you either have or you don't, like long eyelashes or green eyes. But I suppose it's never a lost cause to try and cultivate humility anyway. Even if you never become an ocean, it's not going to hurt to forget your "self" even intermittently.  There's still gravity in the effort, no matter the ultimate result. Besides, perfection is not required. Aren't we all dependent upon Grace (the ultimate Ocean) anyway? We're always flowing to something deeper than ourselves...

The Daffodil Principle

"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." 

--Lao Tzu

Always, when I think about this wonderful quote from Lao Tzu, a simple story from my bookshelf comes to mind that I will share today. I'm not exactly sure if it is a true story (although I'd like to think it is), but I sure have given it a lot of thought through the years since I discovered it. As I have tried to apply the principle in my life, I have found that it is absolutely imperative to constantly be living in the present. You MUST NOT think about the future or you will get overwhelmed by the largeness of your tasks. And you MUST NOT look back and glory in how far you've come or it will go to your head; or even worse, you'll think what you've done is 'good enough' and quit. This is very difficult for me, but something that I am constantly working on. I hope you'll enjoy! 

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The Daffodil Principle

By: Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over."

I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I'll come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly, on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove there.

When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch."

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home," I assured her.

"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car."

"How far will we have to drive?"

"Just a few blocks", Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."

After several minutes, I had to ask, "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage."

"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils." I sternly told Carolyn to please turn around.

"Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church I saw a hand-lettered sign that read "Daffodil Garden."

We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. We turned a corner of the path and I looked up and gasped.

Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and slopes.

The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns -- great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow.

Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like it's own river with its own unique hue.

There were five acres of flowers. "But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn.

"It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." 

Carolyn pointed to a well kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house and on the patio, we saw a poster. "

Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Going To Ask" was the headline. We saw:

The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "one bulb at a time, two hands, two feet and very little brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

There it was, The Daffodil Principle. For me, that moment was a life changing experience.  

I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who more than forty years before, had begun one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, planting one bulb at a time, year after year had changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of indescribable beauty and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time -- often just one baby-step at a time -- and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time.

When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it "one bulb at a time" through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

 

It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"

Tag, You're It!

"The more laws and restrictions there are,

the more people are impoverished.

The sharper men's weapons,

the more trouble in the land.

The more artful and crafty the plan,

the stranger the outcome.

The more authoritarian a system,

the more outlaws appear.

Yet, if I take no action, people are reformed.

If I enjoy peace, people become honest.

If I do nothing, people become rich.

If I do not impose myself upon people,

they become themselves.

--Lao Tsu

Tao Te Ching, 57th verse

Do you remember when you played Tag as a kid? Did you ever play with kids so bent on being in charge and/or winning that they kept making rules? Maybe you were that kid--I know I was a couple times. It starts out relatively harmless but before you know it, no one can even play the game!

No running outside the lines. No moving once you’re tagged. If you run in a circle, you’re automatically out, etc. The rules can get pretty outlandish!

Then it dawns on you. If everyone obeys all these ridiculous rules, no one can even move! So, first you try cheating a little here and there, but even that isn’t very fun. Any time you make a move someone shouts, “That doesn’t count, you cheated!”

Before you know it, everyone is reminiscing about the good-old, original game of Tag. You know, when the game was actually enjoyable. And finally there’s a collective decision to drop all the new rules and get back to playing and having fun.

I think that’s the point of the quote. An overabundance of rules and/or controls set up to shield yourself or others from problems can seriously limit enjoyment, increase resentment, and even create criminals and cheating. But when you let things be, no one has to resent the imposed limitations; no one feels the need to cheat; everyone is free to be themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think we need to eliminate rules all together. Take the Tag analogy for example, if there were NO rules, there wouldn’t even BE a game! And I’m certainly not suggesting that the ONLY reason there are criminals and cheaters is because of the overabundance of rules. Some people cheat and raise mayhem from the get-go.

But sometimes don’t you think we’d all be better off if we all just went back to the good-old, original game?

Maybe every problem we encounter doesn’t need an immediate solution. Maybe somebody doesn’t have to pay every time something goes wrong. Maybe we can just enjoy life instead of trying so hard to mold the game to our benefit. In the end, isn’t the possibility of being tagged and taking turns being ‘it’ what makes the game fun?

Let it be. “The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." --Theodore Rubin

Related Posts:

C.S. Lewis Sunday: Progress

C.S. Lewis Sunday - Resistance: The Measure of Strength
The Freedom Paradox 
C.S. Lewis Sunday – Morality and Peace
C.S. Lewis Sunday - Fuel

True Leadership

True leaders

are hardly known to their followers.

Next after them are the leaders

the people know and admire;

after them those they fear;

after them, those they despise.

To give no trust

is to get no trust.

When the work’s done right,

with no fuss or boasting,

ordinary people say,

“Oh, we did it.”

                 --Lao Tzu

If you don't know anything about Lao Tzu, well…it is my pleasure to briefly introduce you to one of my favorite enlightening people!

Born in the 6^th century, BC and a contemporary of Confucius, Lao Tzu is regarded as a philosopher of ancient China. He is the author of the Tao Te Ching, or “The Way,” which is the basis for the religious practice of Taoism.

If you have not read the Tao Te Ching, you might want to pick it up sometime. It’s short in length - a series of 81 short poems - but long in wisdom and some ineffable quality that is felt rather than understood. I’m no Taoist, but I highly recommend it for the universal truths it contains!

The above thought on true Leadership is one of my favorite verses. I find the four different types of leadership presented extremely thought provoking.

First and most effective are the leaders who help you achieve without inserting themselves into the process at all. These are the leaders who encourage you to find your own way, making you feel like you did it all yourself, and are rarely given credit for leading at all. They most often will not even accept credit, even if it is offered.

The next most effective leaders are those that lead by title. These are the ones that society most often recognizes as good leaders. Their leadership is conspicuous and they are often recognized for their efforts. But while generally effective and admirable, one can not deny that this method of leadership is definitely inferior to the first.

The last two types of leadership described by Lao Tzu are connected in my mind. Those that lead with fear and punishment can be effective in a logistical sense, but fail in essence because no one is improved or enlightened in the process. People led in this manner only accomplish a task because they are told to. Various levels of force may be involved, but in every case they just do what the leader wants because they fear the loss of a job, security, peace of mind, a level of freedom, etc.

True Leadership

Subjects will always despise trade-offs set up by uninspired leaders. Not to mention the resentment of being made a subject in the first place. I’m ashamed to say this is the type of leadership I most often employ in my parenting. But Lao Tzu rightly suggests that I could be much more effective by thoughtfully applying one of the higher forms of leadership.

And as Lao Tzu also points out, it requires a lot of trust in people to properly employ the highest form of leadership. Encouraging those around you to be themselves and trusting them to want to improve is extremely difficult and sometimes involves a great deal of disappointment. But you don’t get trust unless you give it, and I think the payoff is worth the risk.