The White Stocking

"Christmas means giving. The Father gave his Son, and his Son gave his life. Without giving there is no true Christmas, and without sacrifice there is no true worship."

 --Gordon B. Hinckley

The White Stocking

One of my family's most cherished Christmas traditions is the White Stocking. There are six people in my family, but every year we hang seven stockings. Six stockings are embroidered with each family member's name and decorated with the traditional symbols of the modern Christmas culture: Santa, reindeer, elves, and jingle bells all trimmed in red and green. 

But the seventh stocking is not like the others. 

It is plain white with white beading as its only embellishment. There is no name embroidered on the cuff, just some strings of hanging beads that lightly knock against each other when we open and close our front door or someone breezes by the mantel in the hustle and bustle of the season. 

This White Stocking belongs to Jesus. 

Every year on Christmas Eve the six of us gather together to read the Nativity story (Luke 2) and fill Jesus' stocking with gifts we think He would like most. We never put anything tangible in the stocking, just little slips of paper upon which we write specific goals/promises to make the world a better place by aligning our lives and hearts more diligently with His. The gifts are very personal, so we usually don't share them with each other. We fold the little slips up and address them like a gift, making sure to note the year.

We keep these little folded slips of paper in the stocking even after it has been taken down and stored away until the next year. We love to read our gifts from the last year and ponder on how well we gave the gift. We have several years of slips stored in the stocking and it is really interesting to read them year by year.  

Below is the article we read immediately before we filled Jesus' stocking with gifts this year. It was extremely moving. I'm not really a cryer, but I wept three times while I read it aloud to the family. This article will definitely become part of our yearly tradition. It just puts you in the right frame of mind to give gifts to the Savior. Enjoy!

======================================================
Three Levels of Christmas

William B. Smart 

=============================================================

Christmas is a beautiful time of the year. We love the excitement, the giving spirit, the special awareness of and appreciation for family and friends, the feelings of love and brotherhood that bless our gatherings at Christmastime.

In all of the joyousness it is well to reflect that Christmas comes at three levels.

Let’s call the first the Santa Claus level. It’s the level of Christmas trees and holly, of whispered secrets and colorful packages, of candlelight and rich food and warm open houses. It’s carolers in the shopping malls, excited children, and weary but loving parents. It’s a lovely time of special warmth and caring and giving. It’s the level at which we eat too much and spend too much and do too much – and enjoy every minute of it. We love the Santa Claus level of Christmas.

But there’s a higher, more beautiful level. Let’s call it the Silent Night level. It’s the level of all our glorious Christmas carols, of that beloved, familiar story: “Now in those days there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus....” It’s the level of the crowded inn and the silent, holy moment in a dark stable when the Son of Man came to earth. It’s the shepherds on steep, bare hills near Bethlehem, angels with their glad tidings, the new star in the East, wise men traveling far in search of the Holy One. How beautiful and meaningful it is; how infinitely poorer we would be without this sacred second level of Christmas.

The trouble is, these two levels don’t last. They can’t.

Twelve days of Christmas, at the first level, is about all most of us can stand. It’s too intense, too extravagant. The tree dies out and needles fall. The candles burn down. The beautiful wrappings go out with the trash, the carolers are up on the ski slopes, the toys break, and the biggest day in the stores for the entire year is exchange day, December 26th. The feast is over and the dieting begins. But the lonely and the hungry are with us still, perhaps lonelier and hungrier than before.

Lovely and joyous as the first level of Christmas is, there will come day, very soon, when Mother will put away the decorations and vacuum the living room and think, “Thank goodness that is over for another year.”

Even the second level, the level of the Baby Jesus, can’t last. How many times this season can you sing, “Silent Night?” The angels and the star, and the shepherd, even the silent, sacred mystery of the holy night itself, can’t long satisfy humanity’s basic need. The man who keeps Christ in the manger will, in the end, be disappointed and empty.

No, for Christmas to last all year long, for it to grow in beauty and meaning and purpose, for it to have the power to change lives, we must celebrate it at the third level, that of the adult Christ. It is at this level—not as an infant—that our Savior brings his gifts of lasting joy, lasting peace, lasting hope. It was the adult Christ who reached out and touched the untouchable, who loved the unlovable, who so loved us all that even in his agony on the cross, he prayed forgiveness for his enemies. 

 This is Christ, creator of worlds without number, who wept because so many of us lack affection and hate each other – and then who willingly gave his life for all of us, including those for whom he wept. This is the Christ, the adult Christ, who gave us the perfect example, and asked us to follow him.

Accepting that invitation is the way - the only way – that all mankind can celebrate Christmas all year and all life long.

God and the Universe

{Edmond Dantès}: I don't believe in God.

{Priest}: It does not matter. He believes in you.

--The Count of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas 

I have a quote I’d like to share (below). I like almost everything about this quote, but one thing bothers me and I need to address it before I share.

I don’t know what the deal is lately, but I have noticed a new-age fascination with the term “the Universe” when referring to spiritual things. Is it just because people view God as inaccessible to our modern sensibilities? Or is it because “the Universe” can integrate many differing beliefs into one broad term?

Well, whether it’s for accessibility or unification - or even some completely different reason - it bugs me.

I believe in God and I personally believe “the Universe” diminishes him. He created the Universe; He is bigger than the Universe. And I refuse to reduce His infinite value by perpetuating the term “the Universe” in relation to Him and/or His works. Therefore, wherever the Universe is mentioned in the following quote, I have changed the wording back to what it should be: God. I still resent the brackets, but at least now the principle can ring through without all the distracting noise from "the Universe." ;)

“If you say to [God], 'Gimme, gimme, gimme,' then [God] gives you back what you offered out. You get more 'gimme, gimme, gimme.' “Gimme” means you don’t have enough. You have a shortage. [God] just keeps giving you more shortage because of what you’re thinking and saying.

“If, on the other hand, you say to [God] again and again, 'How may I serve? How may I serve? How may I serve?' and you live a life of constancy reflecting that principle, [God] will respond back, 'How may I serve you?'”

--Wayne Dyer

What is Love?

"The words of Jesus, “Love one another as I have loved you,” must be not only a light for us but a flame that consumes the self in us. Love, in order to survive, must be nourished by sacrifices, especially the sacrifice of self. Love, to be real, must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self."

--Mother Theresa 

“I love you, mother,” said little John;

Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on,

And he was off to the garden swing,

Leaving his mother the wood to bring.

“I love you, mother,” said rosy Nell;

“I love you better than tongue can tell;”

Then she teased and pouted full half the day,

Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play.

“I love you, mother,” said little Fan;

“To-day I’ll help you all I can;

How glad I am that school doesn’t keep!”

So she rocked the babe till it fell asleep.

Then, stepping softly, she fetched the broom,

And swept the floor, and dusted the room;

Busy and happy all day was she,

Helpful and happy as a child could be.

“I love you, mother,” again they said—

Three little children going to bed;

How do you think that mother guessed

Which of them really loved her best?

--Joy Allison, “Which Loved Best?” 

(McGuffey’s Third Eclectic Reader, 1879, 146–47)  

Shine

"She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression." 

--C.S. Lewis,The Screwtape Letters

Do you know someone who has a hero complex? You know, someone who always seems to be hovering around in people's business so they can be the first to swoop in to the rescue of all the poor, unfortunate souls around them? Well, I do. And generally, I try to be grateful for any help I receive from them. But sometimes, I can't help but notice that some people's service seems more about getting what they need out of life than giving what others need.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that hero-complex helping isn't valuable. It's still helping, regardless of the motivation behind it. And I'm also not saying that all conspicuous service is the hero-complex brand of helping. I've just given a lot of thought to how truly humble service could be achieved, and the following picture quote illustrates one of the answers I found in my journey to overcome my own hero-complex. If you want to help people, no need to bust out your super spandex unitard and cape. Live uprightly, care deeply, and just stand there shining! If people need you more directly, they'll come on their own terms. Afterall, it's not about the helper, it's about helping. 

Sportsmanship

When the Great Scorer comes to mark against your name, He writes not that you won or lost, but how you played the Game.

--Grantland Rice, Sportswriter 

I have never met a sports movie I didn’t like. I don’t even LIKE baseball, but I have always been a sucker for baseball movies. I think it’s because the movies - for me - aren’t about the game so much as the Team and the heroic character that is built in individuals as teams work together to overcome obstacles and reach a common goal. I find it so inspirational!

This video is no exception. It has everything I love about sports movies and more because it’s real. The sportsmanship, love, and kindness displayed make me want to be a better person. I hope it will do the same for you. Enjoy!

"Sportsmanship is not just about being nice. It is much more important than that. It's about realizing that you could not compete without an opponent and that she has the same goals as you."

--Stephanie Deibler

"No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor."

--Andrew Carnegie

"In the end, it’s extra effort that separates a winner from second place. But winning takes a lot more that that, too. It starts with complete command of the fundamentals. Then it takes desire, determination, discipline, and self sacrifice. And finally, it takes a great deal of love, fairness and respect for your fellow man. Put all these together, and even if you don’t win, how can you lose?"

--Jesse Owens

Happiness is Giving

“There is a wonderful law of nature that the three things we crave most - happiness, freedom, and peace of mind - are always attained by giving them to someone else."

--Anonymous

I recently saw a guy on the corner of a busy intersection with a sign that said, “Hungry Need Help,” and it got me thinking about the connection between Charity and Happiness.

What is your philosophy on giving to beggars and such? My personal philosophy is simple: if I have something to give, I give it. What I decided long ago – and what I teach my children – is that it is not my business or responsibility to judge whether or not there is actually a need. What is my business is how I act when someone is professing a need and asking for help. So, I do what I can to supply the need with whatever I have at my disposal at the time: money, food, a listening ear. I feel I will be judged by God and myself for what I do and the intentions in my heart and the person asking for the help will be judged on their intentions and actions as well. If they are professing a need when they really don’t have one, or if they’re just relying on the charity of others to support their lazy, alcoholic, and/or drug-addicted lifestyle, that’s their problem.  

There have been times when I’ve had an overwhelming feeling that I should not help someone, and I heed those feelings. But for the most part, probably some of the biggest regrets of my life have come from having something to give and withholding it.

I’ll share one of my experiences of regret and one of satisfaction.

As the mother of 4 children, there are times when I just need to get away and regenerate with some “me” time. So, I arranged for someone to sit with my kids and took my self out for a few hours of peaceful solitude. I don’t carry cash very often, so on my way I stopped at the bank and withdrew $10 so I could get some lunch at a place I knew did not take debit cards. But on the way to the place I had planned to spend the bulk of my time I encountered a sign-holding beggar at a freeway exit. I knew I had that ten-dollar-bill in my purse and my first inclination was to give it to the man. But there arose in my heart a string of rationalizations that prevented me from giving the man my lunch money. If I had two fives I feel confident that I would have given him half of my money without hesitation. But to sacrifice everything I had at that moment to a man that might be supporting an addiction…I just couldn’t do it. I latched onto that rationalization along with the vision of a peaceful lunch by myself at a favorite place and did not give the money. What I regret most about this whole experience is that my babysitter called with an emergency and I rushed home and never got that lunch anyway. I kept that ten-dollar-bill in my wallet for a long time to remind myself that I had an opportunity to give someone the shirt off my back and I willfully excused myself. The regret brings this quote to mind, "I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare." --C.S. Lewis

My satisfying giving experience happened one early morning in front of Wal-Mart. I was rushing to bring home some milk so my kids could have some cereal before school when I ran into a rather clean, yet obviously homeless man. I don’t know what made me stop and listen to him; maybe it was his downcast look, maybe it was his threadbare clothes. Whatever it was, I am so glad I stopped. He talked to me for about 15 minutes while my milk sat sweating in the cart. His story was a demoralizing tale of woe. I could just feel the hopelessness dripping off him as he described to me the difficulties of breaking the cycle of homelessness. He couldn’t get a job because he had no address. He couldn’t get an address without a job. The shelters cost $40 a week and all the churches he had talked to were kind to him, but wouldn’t help him long enough to break the cycle. Now, I realize this whole sob story could have been a well rehearsed act. Don’t believe for a second that it didn’t occur to me while I was standing there listening to him. But I pushed that aside and allowed myself to love the man for a second and I knew what I had to do. First, I listened to him and willingly gave him some of my time. I looked him in the eye and treated him like a friend. Then, I told him to hang on a second while I went back into the store to get some cash (because again, I hardly ever carry any). It’s hard to describe the feelings that coursed through my body when I was buying a pack of gum to get the $40 cash I wanted to give him. It felt a little like I was nervous because I was shaking, had clammy hands, and felt short of breath. But I wasn’t nervous, I was giddy with excitement! Here was an opportunity to give that I would boldly take! I nearly skipped out of the store to hand over my money for a week’s shelter for him. I knew it wouldn’t solve all of his problems, but it felt good to know that he’d have a bed for at least a week, and maybe even a little more hope to get him through it. And even if it was a well rehearsed swindle, I know I did the right thing and no one can take the joy I felt from me.

I don’t write all of these things to regale others with my regrets and/or wonderfulness. I write them because through these experiences I learned that there is a connection between Charity and Happiness. The more we give, the more we get. Really, when I don’t give due to a judgment I have made of someone’s intentions, I deny myself a measure of Happiness. But you know what’s even better than giving for your own Happiness? Losing your “self” completely and giving for someone else’s Happiness.

“The words of Jesus, ‘Love one another as I have loved you,’ must be not only a light for us but a flame that consumes the self in us. Love, in order to survive, must be nourished by sacrifices, especially the sacrifice of self. Love, to be real, must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self.” --Mother Theresa

C.S. Lewis Sunday - Morality and Peace

"The price of peace is righteousness. Peace cannot be imposed. It must come from the lives and hearts of men. There is no other way."

--Ezra Taft Benson

"There are two ways in which the human machine goes wrong. One is when human individuals drift apart from one another, or else collide with one another and do one another damage, by cheating or bullying. The other is when things go wrong inside the individual--when the different parts of him (his different faculties and desires and so on) either drift apart or interfere with one another. You can get the idea plain if you think of us as a fleet of ships sailing in formation. The voyage will be a success only, in the first place, if the ships do not collide and get in one another's way; and, secondly, if each ship is seaworthy and has her engines in good order. As a matter of fact, you cannot have either of these two things without the other. If the ships keep on having collisions they will not remain seaworthy. Or, if you like, think of humanity as a band playing a tune. To get a good result, you need two things. Each player's individual instrument must be in tune and also each must come in at the right moment so as to combine with all the others. ...

"Morality, then, seems to be concerned with three things. Firstly, with fair play and harmony between individuals. Secondly, with what might be called tidying up or harmonizing the things inside each individual. Thirdly, with the general purpose of human life as a whole: what man was made for: what course the whole fleet ought to be on: what tune the conductor of the band wants it to play. ...

"Almost all people at all times have agreed (in theory) that human beings ought to be honest and kind and helpful to one another. But though it is natural to begin with all that, if our thinking about morality stops there, we might just as well not have thought at all. Unless we go on  to the second thing--the tidying up inside each human being --we are only deceiving ourselves.

"What is the good of telling the ships how to steer so as to avoid collisions if, in fact, they are such crazy old tubs that they cannot be steered at all? What is the good of drawing up, on paper, rules for social behaviour, if we know that, in fact, our greed, cowardice, ill temper, and self-conceit are going to prevent us from keeping them? I do not mean for a moment that we ought not to think, and think hard, about improvements in our social and economic system. What I do mean is that all that thinking will be mere moonshine unless we realize that nothing but the courage and unselfishness of individuals is ever going to make any system work properly. It is easy enough to remove the particular kinds of graft or bullying that go on under the present system: but as long as men are twisters or bullies they will find some new way of carrying on the old game under the new system. You cannot make men good by law: and without good men you cannot have a good society."

--C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Related Posts:
Tag, You’re It 
C.S. Lewis Sunday - Fuel  
The Freedom Paradox  
C.S. Lewis Sunday – Resistance: The Measure of Strength  
Two Glasses of Water

Beauty and the Beast

"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure."

--Peter Marshall

Last week, I watched a modern-day re-telling of the old Beauty and the Beast story with my children. They range in age from 8 to 14, so at the conclusion of the movie I thought it was more than appropriate to expect at least a couple of them to have picked up on the message. I was looking for something akin to “External beauty is only skin deep. Real substance is on the inside.” Yeah...was I in for a surprise! It looked promising when my 10 year old son took a moment to ponder. But when he concluded, “Don’t be mean to ugly ladies!” I was sure he had completely missed the  point.

We had a good, hearty laugh followed by an excellent discussion as I took the opportunity to teach the message I expected them to learn. But during the discussion, my son kept reiterating what he had said and insisting it was a better lesson because had the prince been nice to the old witch, the whole affair could have been avoided. And he’s right; it could have been avoided. Had he missed the point, or had I?

Hmm. Thought provoking! Is it better to make excellent choices, or is it better to make mistakes and let Life sort out your faults?

I’ve thought about that a lot through the years. There are things in my past that I’m not proud of--choices I wish I hadn’t made--that led to negative consequences that caused a lot of heartache for myself and others. But now that they are in my past, I have to admit that on some level, I’m glad I experienced it all because, like the prince, the consequences of my mistakes (the Beast) made me a better person. If I hadn’t made the mistakes, would I be who I am today? No.

I think if you asked the prince after the Beast was behind him, he would tell you he was glad the whole thing happened to him, too. He’d probably tell you the same thing I’m about to tell you: Even if I had the option to go back and choose differently to avoid the Beast, I wouldn’t. I’d do it all over again because all that I gained was worth the price I paid.

I have also experienced other unpleasant trials in my life that were completely out of my control that caused heartache as well: death, illness, betrayal, poverty, loss, etc. But while I know many would disagree with me on this point, even these experiences have made me stronger and I wouldn’t change them.

On the other hand, I have always understood the importance of living by a set of noble, moral standards. At times, I know living up to my standards has saved me considerable grief and/or pain. It has certainly given me the peace of a clear conscience. This way of living is epitomized in the character of the Beauty. Her choices were noble and kind. She saw the value of the Beast and overlooked his incongruous outward appearance. She was everything the Beast was not--his antithesis in every way. But did her goodness prevent ALL adversity? No. She was enslaved and treated badly despite her goodness. But it was her determination to make the best of her circumstances and to continue choosing kindness in the face of her hardships that changed everything. It was only then that her goodness inspired the Beast’s change, and his inner nobility born from that change that inspired her love. They were connected and strengthened by the contrary winds of struggle.

Maybe just because their paths to improvement were divergent, it doesn’t have to mean one is “right” and one is “wrong”. The point is that there is no path that saves us from adversity, nor should we expect or desire a life free from it. Sometimes we’re the Beauty and sometimes we’re the Beast. Without the opposing forces, there would be no story. Without free will, struggle, and suffering there would be no value in nobility, no learning, no character development, no purpose…no Beauty in life.

Related  Posts:

Being Wrong
Got Glue?

It's a Great Big Universe

"It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."

--John Andrew Holmes

Maybe it’s just because it’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m trying to minimize the effect of my ego, but I wanted to share some perspective today.

Anyone who has spent any time looking up at the stars can not avoid observing the scale of the universe and how very small we are in comparison. It is debatable whether or not this feels good or bad, but I - for one - have found it encouraging to ponder the concept that I cannot possibly be the center of such vastness.  And while it does make me feel insignificant, I appreciate the lesson. I am grateful to be so small so that I may learn to forget myself. There are as many millions of other people in this world as there are whole galaxies in the firmament. What is my life but to love and serve others? That is the ONLY way I can make my life even remotely significant in the face of such vastness. And that is how it should be…I think. Enjoy!

BELOW IS A HUBBLE TELESCOPE ULTRA DEEP FIELD INFRARED VIEW OF COUNTLESS 'ENTIRE' GALAXIES BILLIONS OF LIGHT-YEARS AWAY:

  

This is a close up of one of the darkest regions of the photo above:

It all reminds me of my FAVORITE Animaniacs song:

Great...I'm gonna be singin' that one for the rest of the week! :)