"One ought, everyday at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and speak a few reasonable words." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Wiseguy Wednesday - Will Rogers

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was brilliant at teaching common sense to the common man during the Roaring Twenties and Great Depression. He wrote 4,000 syndicated columns and six books, becoming a prominent radio broadcaster and political commentator. He called politics "the best show in the world" and described Congress as the "national joke factory." His folksy humor and honest, intelligent observations about the government and America earned the respect of the nation.

Some of his sayings:

Never squat while wearing your spurs.

Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

Common sense ain't common.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Everybody is ignorant-- only on different subjects.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into you pocket.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

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