"When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey."
"I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...
"Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!"
"I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap Department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping."
--Steven Wright
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